New Gospel Discovered?

20 Sep

Peter asked, How can you say not [to] me? My mother gave to me little help, and my wife scouted for me, but I’m the one who picked most of the players!”  The disciples said to Jesus, “Who should get the money from last weekend’s fantasy football game?” “We cannot deny. Mary is worthy of it. She had the most points without any help” Jesus said to them, “My wife, scouted for me? You all know this is not allowed.  Peter, how could you do that? You had your wife cheat.  She will be able to be my disciple, but she can’t help you anymore. Now about the Raiders. Let wicked people swell up as I watch them play on my out of date television. As for me, I dwell with her in order to keep from buying a new overpriced plasma. At least I can still get an image. Go Tebow!”

What is the above text you ask? Its the newly discovered complete manuscript of the document being called “The Gospel of Jesus’ Wife“. The parts in bold italics are page one of what was translated in the report released a few days ago. The report appeared in such reputable media as the New York Times and The Daily Mail. What appears above is the complete version that was discovered today, reported first here!

Ok. Seriously though, you may hear a big deal about this in the media, or it may fizzle, because there has even been some scholars suggesting that its not authentic. But even if it is, let me just offer you a few points we know for CERTAIN.

  1. This thing dates way past the Gospels.
  2. The missing parts are MISSING. We don’t know what they said. It’s speculation.
  3. There is no other ancient document that suggest Jesus was married despite what you may have read in The Da Vinci Code.

Bottom line. This thing is really no big deal.

See this link for more detailed information.

Test everything; hold fast what is good.

UPDATE 9/26/12: It’s a fake!

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